Me: “Welcome! May I offer you a free mask?”
Visitor: [looks around incredulously] “But why? There’s no one else here.”
Me: “...well...there’s me?”
Visitor: [laughs] “You don’t have anything to worry about.”
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Every day I’ll hear large groups pause outside the door, read the “masks recommended” sign, debate whether or not to put them on, and then say, “Oh, well, there’s no one here, just an employee. We don’t need them.”
Cool! Come inside and find out how good I am at spin kicks!
reblog to give retail and restaurant workers the right to spin kick unmasked entitled shitheads
that one friend who hates the same shit i hate: can i be petty abt —
me, thru 10 loudspeakers: release the salt
A girl I liked convinced me to stab a man, so I did. Felt guilty for a bit, then promptly forgot about it and walked around with the murder weapon for a couple of hours, going about my business, walking my dog. Eventually I was cornered by a plainclothes police officer who asked me why I had a bloody knife; I told him I was looking after it for my bogan cousin. He said, “You’re under arrest,” and I was like,, “No, I’m not, watch this,” and then I woke up.
that’s a goddamned power move
if you have a twitter and aren鈥檛 following this man, you鈥檙e a fucking idiot
i stan a fucking KING
dictatoroffandoms
